April Showers
by LyingOutLoud - old fic central
Summary: Heero has reasons to believe that Duo is not who he claims to be. Hints of shounen ai [12] Oneshot


Summary: Heero has reasons to believe that Duo is not who he claims to be.

Warnings: Hints of shounen-ai (1+2), some bad words, first fic, English is not my first language.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I would love to, though, so if you ever see it on eBay, let me know.

**April showers**

The first thought that entered Heero Yuy's mind that morning was, strangely enough, not about missions. No, this morning he had far more pressing matters on his mind.

_'I have to go. I really, really, have to go.'_

Of course, the sound of running water coming from the bathroom across the hall didn't help matters much. The sound also meant his roommate was in the shower, and that meant he couldn't use the bathroom to relief his poor, stressed bladder. Heero decided to rely on his training and force his brains to ignore the increasingly louder signals his bladder sent it. It worked, for all of 30 seconds.

_'Initiate plan B. No, cancel that. First, think up a plan B.'_

Thourough as always, even under great duress, Heero started up his laptop to draw up a mission plan.

Mission objective: To take a piss

Location: The bathroom, aprox. 1,5 meters south-southeast from base

Hostiles: 1 (One), probably naked and possibly unarmed, though I'd better not take chances. Hostile is also very skilled at hand-to-hand combat and a fierce fighter, especially when it comes to his privacy. It is preferable to remain undetected.

Situation on site: Site will be easily accessible, due to broken lock on door. Toilet is right next to door, on the left hand side. Shower, where hostile remains, is in the far right hand corner and shielded from sight by showercurtain. This highly decreases the risk of being detected and getting my ass kicked by one pissed off Shinigami.

Conclusion: It is possible to enter and use the bathroom unseen, but there is still the very high probability of Duo hearing me. Therefore, it is advised to leave the house and put the tree in the backyard to good use.

Just as he was preparing to leave the room to fetch his coat, Heero heard something that he considered to be a gift from God.

Music.

Duo had just turned on the radio they kept in the bathroom. And he was singing along. Loudly. Heero thought that he should politely ask God if He had kept the receipt, but then a not so pleasant tingle in his lower abdomen reminded him of why that would be a bad idea. Heero nodded to himself.

_'Mission accepted.'_

- - -

So far, his mission had gone without a hitch. Of course, so far, he had only gotten to the bathroom door. Heero took a deep breath and cleared his mind of all thoughts but those about what was ahead of him. He grabbed the doorknob and turned it very, very slowly, then opened the door until it was slightly ajar and looked trough the crack. Duo appeared to still be in the shower, behind the closed curtain. Heero sent a silent prayer of thanks towards the heavens. He opened the door somewhat further and glanced around the bathroom to see if there were any obstacles he should know of. Apart from a roll of tape on the sink, he saw nothing out of the ordinary. He briefly wondered if Duo had somehow injured himself, but decided that it could wait. After opening the door wide enough or him to sneak through, Heero tiptoed into the bathroom. So far, he seemed to be safe. He decided that it would be wise to do a more thorough check of the parameter. After all, Duo was a sneaky bastard, and you should never, _never_, let your guard down when it came to him.

Until his dying day, Heero Yuy would stick to that story: his cautiousness was the only reason for everything that happened from there on.

First, Heero would take a good look at the corner where the shower was located. After all, it was good to know exactly where the hostile was. He ignored the little voice in his head that told him he could very easily locate the hostile by following the sound of cats being strangled and that he didn't need visual confirmation. First, he discovered that yes, the shower was indeed where it was supposed to be. Then he confirmed that Duo was indeed in said shower, proven by the fact that his silhouette was projected on the shower curtain by the lamp in the shower. It was a very nice silhouette too, very sharp and not blurry at all. Heero felt his mouth go a little dry at the sight and he decided that his bladder could wait a few more seconds as he slowly took the vision in.

He started at the legs. Long, slender, yet musceled legs. One was slightly bent en placed in front of the other, making it impossible to see anything that might have been between them.

_'Right. Ehrm...moving on.'_

A round, firm ass, enticing even as a shadow on a showercurtain. Slim waist. Perky breasts. Long neck, head bent backwards to rinse that long... Heero frowned to himself. Something was off. He started to trace his staps back to see if hee could find it.

_'Head bent backwards, long neck, perky breasts, slim wai... ah, that's it. Breasts. Duo's not supposed to have breasts. Duo is a guy and we don't have breasts. Girls have breasts.'_

After this, his mission was forgotten. No more signals from his bladder could reach his brain, because said brain was only capable of processing one thought.

_'Well, I'll be fucked.'_

- - -

Three pilots looked up from their breakfasts as a very dazed Heero Yuy walked into the kitchen of their safehouse. A very dazed Heero Yuy was such an unheard of sight, that it took them several seconds before they realised that they _were_, in fact, looking at a very dazed Heero Yuy. Quatre was the first to speak up.

"Heero, are you alright? You seem somewhat...shaken."

Heero slowly shook his head and sat down at the kitchen table. It wasn't until after a minute or five that he looked up to the other pilots.

"Say, have any of you ever seen Duo... naked? Or topless?"

He looked very patiently to the other three, who were, unfortunately, too busy gawking at him to answer his question. Finally, it was, once again, Quatre who voiced all of their thoughts.

"Excuse me?"

"Duo. Have any of you ever seen him naked or topless?" Heero repeated.

Quatre blinked at him.

"Yes, I thought that was what you said. What brings this on, Heero? Is that why you are so unsettled? Because you saw Duo naked? Because I'm sure that... Oooooooh..." Quatre stopped as realisation dawned upon him. Then he started to giggle. Heero looked at the giggling heap of Gundam Pilot for a while, not understanding what he meant.

"What? Why are you laughing? What's so funny?"

Quatre fought to regain his composure, finding that this was a delicate situation and Heero needed his support, not his amusement. He wiped the tears from his eyes and laid a hand on Heero's shoulder.

"Don't worry, we won't judge you, Heero. It's perfectly understandable, really. The two of you are always rooming together and Duo's an attractive guy, I suppose. Really, don't worry about it."

"What?" Heero answered, "No, that's not it at all! Look, I just saw Duo in the shower and he... well, the thing is..." Here he took a deep breath. "Duo has breasts."

Trowa blinked. Quatre paled. Wufei started to snicker.

"Maxwell has manboobs? Wow, that's... well, that's only justice I guess."

His comrades stared at him incredulously for a while before Heero decided to put him straight.

"Boobs, yes. _Man_boobs...not so much."

Wufei blinked. Then he paled. Finally, he said what was on all of their minds.

"Well, I'll be fucked."

- - -

"So, were they big?"

"Fei! You pervert!" Quatre blushed, but then a pensive look crossed his face and he turned to Heero.

"Were they?"

Heero felt the situation was getting more surreal by the minute. Here was cute, innocent Quatre, asking about the breastsize of their supposed male friend. It was also slightly embarrassing.

"I fail to see the significance of that," he replied stiffly. Quatre's blush deepened.

"No! God no! I didn't mean it like that. I was just wondering: how did he hide something like that from us? You would think that something like... that... would be pretty obvious. Especially if they were.. ehrm... you know?"

"Well, I did see a roll of tape on the bathroom sink. I thought he might have sprained something." Heero snorted. "Guess I was wrong."

"I see," Quatre replied. "But still, how did he manage to hide this from us? And OZ? They have captured him on several occassions. Why wasn't there anything about this in their files on him you hacked into Heero?"

Wufei made a disdainful sound. "Those incompetent fools? Please. Forget about that. More importantly, why didn't _you_ notice, Yuy? You've roomed with the man for several months."

Heero realised with a shock that it was true. If anybody should have noticed, it was him. But then again, Duo cared about his privacy _very_ much. And he always slept in baggy shorts and tanks. That was the closest thing to naked Heero had ever seen Duo. He shared his thoughts with the other three. Luckily, they all agreed that Heero couldn't know, given the circumstances.

"Well, that sort of explains the 'how', but there is still the 'why'." Quatre couldn't help it, he wanted to get to the bottom of this.

"Maybe he thought, for some silly womanish reason, that we wouldn't respect a girl, or accept one as a fellow warrior." Wufei didn't understand why his comment seemed to amuse his friends.

"And I suppose there are situations where it is safer if people, men, think you're a boy." Heero thought that being captured by enemy forces was hard enough for them as boys. He wouldn't want to have the extra stress of fearing for his virtue girls would have. Also, he had found out a few things about Duo's childhood. He figured that life on the streets would be safer for a boy than for a girl. It was very well possible that Duo had been pretending to be a boy for years before the war. He didn't share this theory with the others, though. They didn't need to know. Hell, _he_ wasn't even suppossed to know, Duo would have his ass if he ever found out that Heero had been digging into his past.

"I guess you have a point there. Then again, maybe he has gender issues. You never know." Quatre decided that there was one more question he needed to ask. "How are we supposed to treat him now?"

They all fell silent. Surprisedly, it was Trowa who spoke up, for the first time that morning. That fact didn't surprise them half as much as _what_ he said.

"Exactly the same."

"And how do you suppose we do that?" Wufei inquired. "This changes everything. Besides, women require special consideration. And, and, we're, well, you know?"

Trowa raised an eyebrow at Wufei.

"We're _teenage boys_, for fuck's sake!" The Chinese soldier exploded. "How are we supposed to live with a _girl_ without any sort of trouble?"

"Easily," Trowa calmly replied, "we ignore the fact that Duo's a girl. It's not that hard, really. You may have noticed that none of us have yet used the words 'she' or 'her' when referring to Duo. We're still calling him a 'he'. Furthermore, this information changes _nothing._ Duo's still the same pilot who has been fighting with us for all these months. He clearly doesn't require special consideration, Wufei, or we would have noticed so before. And lastly: whatever his reasons, Duo obviously doesn't want us to know. We have to respect that. So I suggest we view Duo as nothing other than a fellow pilot and a friend, instead of as a girl."

After this speech, the discussion was settled pretty quickly. They all agreed with Trowa that it would be best not to chance their attitude towards Duo. They also agreed to keep referring to Duo as a boy when it was just to four of them, to prevent any slip-ups, or Duo overhearing them.

"Doesn't mean it's going to be easy, though." Quatre sighed.

- - -

It was going to be a strange day, Duo decided. When he had entered the kitchen that morning, all of the other pilots had been there, heads bent towards each other over the table, as if they were conspiring about something. He became suspicious when they fell silent as soon as he entered the kitchen. He became _really _suspicious when he felt eight eyes follow his every move. He saw his suspicions confirmed when he turned around and the four at the table suddenly looked away, trying to look innocent. Something was definitely up, and Duo was determined to find out what it was, although he had a nagging suspicion. But he had to be sure. He planted his hands on the table and leaned forward. He kept his voice low, calm and extremely dangerous.

"Would someone _please _inform me what the _fuck_ is going on here?"

Startled, Quatre did the only thing any decent man would have done in that situation. He lied through his teeth.

"I'm sorry? Nothing is going on Duo. Why do you ask?"

'_They found out.'_ Duo felt a sudden calm wash over him at this thought. He was surprised that he wasn't surprised at all. _'Actually, it's more shocking that Quatre is such a good liar.' _

"Yeah, whatever you say, babe." With those words, Duo grabbed an apple and left the kitchen.

- - -

As he had predicted, it did turn out to be a pretty strange day. Or rather, his comrades turned out to be pretty strange that day. Wufei would stare at his chest while talking to him, Heero blushed, yes, _blushed, _everytime he looked his way, Quatre kept this whole 'nothing is wrong, no, everything is just _fine_'thing going, and Trowa was, well Trowa was just being Trowa. At least one of them had kept his sanity.

It was a good thing they didn't have any missions that day, because Duo was sure one of his friends would have blown the whole thing, being as distracted as they were now. Since there was no harm in this strange behaviour, provided it didn't last too long, Duo decided it would be best to just sit back and be entertained. He was pretty sure he knew what this was about, and he would have to talk to the other four about it, but not right now. Right now, it was just way too funny to watch his friends make complete fools out of themselves.

Dinner that night was particularly uneasy. Duo found that his fun lasted long enough. The thruth would have to come out tonight.

- - -

They had been sitting around the kitchen table, evaluating the past day, when Duo had walked in, carrying a big paper bag. He threw the bag on the table, said "Happy April Fool's Day, guys" and walked out. The sat staring at the bag for a good ten minutes. Finally, Quatre spoke up, although his voice seemed a little strained.

"So, guys, do you think Duo would blow us up as a prank?"

As much as they all would have loved to say that no, Duo wouldn't blow them up, none of them were sure. It took another five minutes for Heero to gather up the courage to peek at the bag's contents. The other three looked at him incredulously as he started to laugh. It was not the maniacal laugh he would have during missions, this was a genuinely amused laugh. Then they all grabbed for the bag to see what was in it.

- - -

Heero entered the room he shared with Duo. The American was lying on his bed, eyes closed. Heero stood in the center of the room, looking at his fellow pilot.

"So, strap-on breasts?"

"Took me ages to find a natural looking pair," Duo replied without opening his eyes "But, God, it was _so_ worth it."

Heero sat down on his own bed.

"How did you know someone would see them? No-one ever enters the bathroom when you're in the shower, after all."

Still not opening his eyes, Duo lazily pointed towards his nightstand. Heero got up and opened the drawer. There was a small bottle of pills inside.

"They affect your bladder. I put one in the glass of water you keep on your nightstand. Sorry 'bout that."

Heero found himself getting angry -after all, while pulling a prank was one thing, administering drugs went a little too far- when Duo suddenly opened his eyes and fixed them on Heero. Heero swallowed, he thought the look in Duo's eyes was _very_ unsettling.

"Now, Heero, let's talk about why you were ogling me in the shower..."


End file.
